Mumbles / Troll of the day

Open love letter to no one (maybe everyone)

Darling (s),

Remember when I said that  that thing you do drives me crazy? Based on recent conversations, I think you misunderstood me. I wasn’t trying to be cute; I actually meant that it fills me with murderous rage, Muffin. It may just be a text message to you, but please bear with me. You know, when you use “your” when you mean “you’re.” Yes, of course, I know what you mean (but do you know what you mean?). No, of course I don’t think I’m better than you. I just know what is best for you and, tangentially, me.

While we’re on the subject, do you know what’s sexy? Using spatial and temporal prepositions correctly. More specifically, opting to say “older than” or “younger than” rather than “over” or “under” when describing age range. I know it’s generally accepted to say “under 12,” but do it the other way. For me?  How about  knowing when to use “fewer” or “less?” I mean, wow. You want to talk hot…

I hope this doesn’t change things. I guess it’s* me not you, really. But please change immediately.


*please watch this one too**

**and this one.


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